Monday, March 12, 2007

Karaoke in the Cantina

Meredith and I went out to get Mexican food at our local Mexican restaurant (by local, I mean we drove 'bout 25 miles). The place was packed (note to self: never go there on a Friday evening). A mariachi band was making the rounds going from booth to booth playing hits like the macarena (shudder). After we had sat down, they stopped playing because it was now karaoke hour.

The first woman wasn't so bad. She did a rendition of Journey's "Faithfully." Then some dude sang "Runaround Sue." And then some awful singer sang something I didn't recognize.

This lead me to think about some awful choices for karaoke songs:

1. "Ziggy Stardust" by David Bowie.

2. "Hurdy Gurdy Man" by Donovan.

3. "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zepplin (can you imagine how long you'd have to be up there to perform this?)

***

Years back, when I returned to my hometown from college, a group of former high school classmates and myself went to the local watering hole, Rusty's Pancake and Steak. Rusty's had a karaoke night on Fridays. If you know anything about my home town, you'd know that Rusty's was the place where all the cowboys from the outskirts of town descended for drinks and talk. The air was quite thick with testosterone and steer smells. Anyway, cowboy after cowboy got up to sing country songs. I had a crush on one of my classmates who was quite crazy. She wanted to go up and sing Abba's "Dancing Queen." I, of course consented because 1) I was stupid and 2) I was buzzed. So we got up on stage and the words to the song are flashing on the monitor. The cowboys in the audience are glaring at us, like we've ruined their evening, and I'm thinking to myself, "There's a beer bottle over there on the ledge. If I can get to it and crack it open, I'll have a ready-made shiv if I need to fight my way out of the bar." None of that was necessary, of course. The cowboys were quite civil and after the song things went back to normal. I got the hell out of the bar as soon as I could. As for the girl, she went home with a cowboy.

***

Bathroom remodeling update: We painted our last coat yesterday. We start on the flooring some time this week. I returned a bunch of piping because our contractor neighbor devised a short-cut for our plumbing. I don't know what the hell I'm doing as far as plumbing goes. To me, it's even more frightening than electrical work. Anyway, once we get the flooring done, the sink and the toilet will follow. We're almost done and the bathroom looks so much better. No more carpeted bathroom floors!

***

I have no poems. They're all out. I suppose I could write some, but I'm not exactly in the mood.

5 comments:

Justin Evans said...

4. "Try a Little tenderness" by Otis Redding. The only decent cover I have ever heard was in the film, The Commitments.

5. "Sex Machine" by james Brown.

6. "Detachable Penis" by King Missile.

Oliver de la Paz said...

Gawd. I can't imagine all the screaming required for #4.

#6 would be fun, but it's mostly spoken, right?

***

I remember a dive bar I went to in AZ. Some dude sang "Cocaine."

Penultimatina said...

I heard a really, really bad rendition of "Bust a Move" at Karaoke once.

Anything by the Moody Blues has the potential to be toxic.

Oliver de la Paz said...

Oh my. "Bust a Move"? REALLY??? I'm surprised it's even on a karaoke machine.

As for the Moody Blues . . . "Nights in White Satin" = scary in a bar.

oscar said...

Rapper's Delight by the Sugar Hill Gang

when you start, you think its all cute cuz *everybody* knows the words but then you soon realize that the original is almost seven minutes long and you have no idea what the last part of the song is about.

to the hip, hop,
oscar